7/03/2008
6:17 pm
It's really strange and hard to believe if I told someone I was a perfectionist. I might show this in everything i do, but yeah, in a way I am. Usually I try to be perfect in the beginning but when i make a mistake or is too hard to keep up, I'll give up and not care anymore. That is why I always have a good start, but not so much a good ending.
I still remember when I was young, I started a diary and threw a really really really big tantrum because I forgot what I did the previous day and I have not wrote my entry yet. Yeah, of course I stopped writing after that.
When I started primary school. I'd always write very slowly and nicely in my homework and during lessons. My whole class, including the teacher got frustrated always waiting for me to write finish. One day, I just started writing fast and messy, couldn't care anymore.
I used to get really frustrated when things are not done "perfectly" and I coped with it by not caring, doing something else etc. This might be hard to believe too but I used to have an extremely bad temper when I was young, all my cousins hated me then, lol.
But now I think I'm a little too much over the "being ignorant" side. maybe I'm just not sure of myself, thinking I can't reach my goals... The thought of it just makes me so depressed, and ya.. I deal with it by avoiding it, doing something else again.
I should just stop all these nonsense, nothing's perfect and I know that but best way to achieve what I want is to aim for perfection. Even though I know it's quite impossible to reach it, but at least I get close to what I want.
waiting by the river|`