9/13/2008
9:15 pm
today's mooncake festival, but i was just sitting outside my house looking at the sky, the moon and the stars. Was quite sad today, I nearly lost my ez link card which my maid eventually found lying in the dustbin but that's not the main reason why I was so depressed. It's just that they accused me. They nagged. They "showed" care, which i feel it's pretence. They got angry and naggy only when it affects them. Then again, isn't that human nature. To be honest, I do that too sometimes.. I got angry at them and worried for myself.. ya.. It feels like they think i'm lazy and incapable of doing anything and it hurts because they stabbed you again after you try to get close to them. It hurts more because they can do it over and over again, and there is no way I can escape.
I used to have a private spot at the back of my house where I can just sit down, hear the sounds of crickets and stare at the stars at night. Now there is this new house at the back building 3 storeys. So like there are construction workers there.... and is at the same "altitude" as my house. It's not so private anymore.
I broke down today cuz I had no where to go to, no where to let it out. I can't shout, scream, destroy property, fight........... I hate it..
waiting by the river|`