3/21/2012
11:00 pm
Bleh.... another bad day..
No not really..
I'm just in a bad mood..
I hate dealing with people, you can never know what they are really like. Whether they are truly sincere or whether they have a motive behind their back. I can never judge for myself accurately.
If I look at it positively, perhaps some are actually sincere and genuine but have a different way of thinking and different set of values. But is this positive thinking crossing the line to naivety?? Possibly.
Maybe in the past, I could think that way. But now, my heart isn't that big to forgive such people. Reality is just this cruel. You can't survive if you are too kind-hearted.
If only people in reality are more genuine....
Anna just lent me a book on the autobiography of a Korean evangelist. I must say that he is really a great person, to the point that is hard to believe. Kind to the point of naivety but yet fortunate enough to survive despite doing many countless good deeds which may have caused much misfortune to himself. I think his values are great. But I find the circumstances in the book quite unbelievable. And also his charisma to touch the hearts of many. All I find hard to believe. Is there really such a person like that or is he just exaggerating. Well, it is true that there is such a person, but I have never ever met him so I can't tell if it is the truth or just an exaggeration. Even if what is written is the pure truth, a part of me will think that he is one of the lucky ones to be gifted with such charisma to move others. And that most people will be unable to do the things that he do even if they are super dedicated.
All in all, I'm just really skeptical about this.
Edit:
After thinking and thinking and brooding and brooding.. I'm starting to think that the promise at the start was a lie all along with the intent to be broken later on when the time comes near. Why can't people be truthful and tell the harsh truth before things get worse and complicated. Haiz..
*I know this is gross but I don't feel like bathing, lol* *off to force myself into the shower*
Edit2:
Okay showered! :) すっきりした！
waiting by the river|`